I have been thinking about choices lately. Everything we do has to do with choices we make. Sometimes we are afforded time to make a decision, others are split second decisions. I am particularly interested in the split second decisions. Take for example a time when your spouse does something that he/she knows irritates you. At least we think he/she knows it. We think we have about a nano second to decide how we are going to react. The problem is that most of us don't even give it a thought. We just react! But what do you suppose would happen if for just that moment you thought two things. The first one is, "Do I honestly believe that he/she is doing this to irritate me? Is is possible that perhaps it's not the case?" and the second one is, "If I react the way I usually do, do I honestly believe that we will have a different outcome than the usual one?" Now add one more thing to the mix: just shut up and breathe for a moment. We don't have to be in a hurry to react. In fact, maybe we don't need to react at all. Maybe we just need to stop and breathe and take a moment to choose how we will respond. I am convinced that if everyone took a moment to stop, breathe and think about what they were going to say when their spouse did something that bothers us, we would be a lot less reactive, and much more proactive. The key here is don't wait for your spouse to do it--you be the grown-up. But the choice is up to you.