|
I am someone who loves the holiday and Christmas season this year. There have been years when Christmas was difficult. Thirty years ago, our youngest daughter was in the hospital for a week with RSV, and then on Christmas day she was readmitted with an eye infection. It was hard to be merry about anything. This year, I know someone whose grandson underwent brain surgery for what looks like cancer. This, unfortunately, is not their first round. The boy's father died from brain cancer last year. I am certain that there will be little to no "merry and bright" at their family gatherings this year.
There are high expectations to be joyful during the holiday season. The colors are happy, the songs are hopeful and happy, presents around the tree or at the table bring hope for fun, good things. We are having a cold but relatively sunny season in Washington, and you can see people smiling more (it's a good thing since there is a real thing called "the Seattle freeze" and no, it's not about the weather). Yet underneath all of this merriment, there are people who are lonely, sick, undergoing trauma. Relationships are breaking up and parents are being put in memory care. This list is inexhaustible. Knowing this, how do we who are in a season of joy and relative ease, keep that in mind without feeling blah or worse, guilty? Knowing this, how do we who are in a season of sadness or grief, live with the joy around us without feeling bitter or resentful? Here are a few thoughts: Enjoy this good season. Life ebbs and flows, and we all face hardship at one point or another. Guilt implies wrong doing, and so if you are enjoying this season, there is no reason to feel guilty. Be joyful and remember that there are people who are struggling. If you know them, think about a way to help out or serve. If you have extra resources, give to a charity that you believe in. If you are surrounded by people you love, say it, show it, and be grateful! Reach out to repair broken relationships if that's a healthy and safe thing to do. Laugh, take in the joy around you and just be! If this is a difficult season, show yourself grace. The sunny skies can feel offensive under the weight you carry. Put good boundaries around you. If people are feeding you pablum (e.g "Everything will get better!" "Everything happens for a reason!" "Just pray!"), respectfully distance yourself if this isn't helpful, or respectfully say, "You may be right, but this isn't helpful right now." When you are feeling particularly salty, remind yourself that a healthy distance from others might be in order. Remember that there have been better times in the past and that you will figure out a way to find happiness or joy in the future. Remind yourself that even in dark times, or if you are suffering, it's ok to have a periodic good day, or to even laugh. And, also remind yourself that there really are seasons of grief and despair. Honor the tears. Wherever you find yourselves this season, take care, friends. May 2025 be a better year for all of us.
0 Comments
|